Wednesday, April 2, 2014

Our Story Begins

With year two of Adam's dental school wrapping up, I thought I'd recap our journey over the past couple years and reflect on our decision to get married when we did. Our decision to get married was two fold. On one hand, we were (and still are) completely in love and wanted to take that natural next step in our relationship. We had never felt more ready for anything and didn't want to wait another day, month or year. We wanted to be husband and wife, we wanted to start our story. The other part of our decision was the more thought out aspect. Was it a smart financial decision to get married now? Would it be too difficult to be married during Adam's toughest year of dental school? Would we see each other enough? All of these questions were ones we talked about long before mentioning to family or friends that we were considering getting engaged. With as many things there are to talk about when getting married, the conversation was simple to us. We didn't have one concern that held a candle to our desire to be together. Would it be tough being married during the notoriously hard second year? Of course it would be challenging, but what better reminder of why it's all worth it than coming home to each other every day to be supported, pray together and talk through daily trails? What about all of Adam's school loans that would now be in my name as well, instead of just his? This is a question that was raised by quite a few people, and while the concern was appreciated, the question had me puzzled. Whether we got married when we did or five years down the road, the debt would still be there. Debt is an aspect of life that we all have to find a healthy way to manage. Whether it's a car loan, mortgage or paying back school loans, managing finances is an unavoidable part of life. Why is this something that should negatively affect our decision to get married? If anything, having someone around to keep you financially organized and accountable sounds like a positive thing. And that's exactly how we both saw it. Spending time together is something we prioritize, but it is also something we've had to be creative about with our limited free time. There have been several nights where I've gotten antsy and wished Adam could go do things with me, but I've learned how to best manage my need for engagement and his need to study. If Adam needs to be in his dental world, why can't I (hypothetically) meet him there and get involved? I've learned I can quiz him on topics, have him explain what he's doing with the multiple sets of fake teeth we have in our apartment, visit his lab to see what he's working on and we've also gotten close with other dental couples. It has been so wonderful because the guys usually talk dentistry or study, while us wives get to hang out. Adam and I are blessed that we get to see each other every day and try out best to never take it for granted. Whether that's us sitting quietly for an entire night while he studies and I read, or when we're doing more exciting things. I know there are people out there who would give anything to simply see their spouses as often as we get to.

Everyone paints a different picture in their mind of the ideal way to do things. When to move in together, when to get married, when to have children or when to buy a house. Our relationship will never be perfect, but we choose to see life as a string of lessons needing to be lived to be learned. There are always going to be things that need to be worked on, more money to be saved, more places we'd like to visit and more life experience to be had. If we waited for every single aspect of our lives to be in perfect order before moving forward, we would forever be at a standstill. We have faith that God will see us through each new challenge and faith in ourselves to know when we're ready for the next step. Getting married when we did was something I believe with my whole heart was the right choice for us. We are young and in love, with the world at our fingertips.

No comments:

Post a Comment